just a test

sorry, testing out some html. Look below for the real stuff.

From the Tusken Raider Desk: HIZBULLAH SUSPECTED OF JOINING SUNNI INSURGENTS

From Mideast Newline comes the "shocker" that the Iranian supported terrorist organization, already responsible for the deaths of 241 Marines, helped in the latest attacks against the fledgling Iraqi security forces.

Iraqi security sources said they have collected unspecified evidence that Ansar Al Islam, the Al Qaida-aligned insurgency group, has acquired the services of Hizbullah to help attack U.S. forces in parts of the Sunni Triangle. The sources said Hizbullah combatants were believed to have provided training and guidance in coordinated attacks on U.S. and Iraqi security positions. Few of the Hizbullah operatives participated in the attacks.

More than 500 Hizbullah combatants arrived in Iraq from Lebanon during 2003, the sources said. Most of them have resettled in Shi'ite cities in central and southern Iraq.

But over the last two months, the sources said, scores of Hizbullah fighters were believed to have crossed into northern Iraq to join Ansar. They said Ansar has benefited from Iranian weaponry, logistics support and safe haven and Teheran might have approved or encouraged the services of Hizbullah for Ansar.

Where does Hizbullah get its money? Iran. As if that threat to our brave Imperial Stormptroopers was not enough, in related news, Iran has announced it will begin work to extend the range of its missiles.

Iranian officials said the upgrade project would replace previous plans to develop the longer-range Shihab-4. But officials said the range of the Shihab-3 would also be extended.

"We will be optimizing our Shihab-3 instead," acting Iranian Defense Minister Hossein Dehghan said recently. "Such allegations [of developing the Shihab-4] are part of the U.S. and Israeli psychological war against the Islamic Republic."

Other officials said the upgrade of the Shihab-3 would extend the range of the missile to at least 1,600 kilometers. They said some of the improvements were demonstrated in a Shihab-3 launch in June 2003, when the missile reached a range of 1,380 kilometers. The Shihab-4 was planned for a range of 2,000 kilometers.

Note to Ayatollah Ali Khameini: We know where you live. Be afraid....be very afraid.

Stormtrooper agents found infiltrating Jawa conference: Is Sahar Aziz crazy or a liar?

When is the Emperor going to learn? Don't send in stormtroopers to do a Jedi's job! Organizer of a recent TCU conference on the ancient and mystic Jawa Religion of Peas, accuse the Emporer of sending military spies.

Intelligence men "were definitely there, dressed in civvies and not revealing their identities," [said]Sahar Aziz, a law student and one of the organizers...

A few days after the conference, held in the Law School Campus on February 4, two intelligence agents came to the building and asked for a list of the attendees and a video of the proceedings. "They went to the dean's office and searched for the organizers in order to get the list, flashing their cards and asking students about the participants," Aziz said..

What is going on in the Emperor's home state? Mypetjawa also saw evidence of dhimmitude at TCU last week here. What, no Jedi mind tricks to fool the poor unsuspecting dhimmis? What really bothers Rusty is not that the government is harassing these people, but when are they going to start getting serious and harassing more of them?!?! Further, Rusty isn't convinced that any of this is true. Followers of the Religion of Peas are not especially known for their commitment to the "truth". What seems odd about the whole story is that they would accuse the "agents" of being military intelligence. Why would military intelligence be concerned about a conference on "Islam and the Law: The Question of Sexism"? Wouldn't this be an internal matter left to the Interior Ministry for Spying?

So Rusty did a little digging on Sahar Aziz. You too can attend her upcoming lecture on the "War on Terrorism and its Effects on Immigrants" at a teach-in sponsored by Austin Against War (AAW), a well known front for the dhimmis of the Rebel Alliance. The AAW sponsors a number of events, such as:

A Stop the Corporate Takeover of Iraq rally

A "Books Not Bombs!'Money for jobs and education, not for war and occupation!'" demonstration

And even a " Remember the Victims of War Vigil"

Are we seeing a pattern here? It seems Ms. Aziz's concerns about monitoring of Muslims is not a new one. Like many on the Left, she believes that the War on Tusken Raiders is really a plot to take away our civil liberties. In 2002 she testified to the Texas HOUSE COMMITTEE ON CRIMINAL JURISPRUDENCE on behalf of the American Civil Liberties Union of Texas, League of United Latin American Citizens, and the Muslim Legal Defense Fund. From the record, found here (emphasis Rusty's):

She urged the committee to reject attempts to involve state and local law enforcement in undercover antiterrorism operations that do no include a reasonable belief that a serious crime has been planned or committed by a specific individual or group. She also expressed concern over the erosion of judicial oversight. She recommended the committee reject any laws that jeopardize judicial oversight and the judiciary branch’s role in monitoring the executive branch, Attorney General, and law enforcement.

Her name also comes up in association with the website "Stop the covert war." The site informs us that the covert war can be defined as (among other things):

1: the never-ending BOGUS investigation used as an excuse to obtain court orders to wiretap phones, bug homes, cars, and use any and all manner of electronic surveillance and harassment devices

2: the use of agents, informants, infiltrators, and provocateurs by any agency, organization, group, or gang to conspire against and violate the constitutional rights of any individuals, organization, or business

3: illegal, unlawful, immoral, disgusting secret actions taken by governments or big business to subdue dissent

5: the use of chemicals, drugs, and electronic weapons to harass, injure, maim, kill, and other wise nullify citizens who disagree with politics as usual 6: the land grab conspiracy by governments and multinational corporations

8: the global conspiracy by corporations, governments and those who co-operate with them to enslave all of humanity

Er, Note to self: stock up on tin-foil.

To her credit, her name can be found in a "STATEMENT IN SUPPORT OF THE PALESTINE SIGNATORIES" which condemns the PA for politically motivated arrests of Arabs. I wonder if she would sign something condemning the PA for intentional attacks against Jewish civillians? But I digress...anyway, I'm now 98% sure this whole thing is made up. Every time the anti-war left gets together these sorts of accusations fly. Ms. Aziz has a history of being paranoid and as Butters and others already know, we can always predict what they will say long before they even open their mouths. She, along with other dupes of the Rebel Alliance, simply quote Edwardo Said and Gnome Chumpsky's lies and slander against the US. This is the same old stuff, par for the course. Why should we believe them now?

Kerry's Anuslift: redux

As an adendum to yesterday's post, here is the latest google search referring unsuspecting kufr to mypetjawa:

Google search="Kerry's facelift"

At which point good readers would be directed to this oldie but goodie where Rusty revealed a candid photograph of Mrs. Heinz and her bee-yatch at a Fluid Milk Processing Board rally in rural Colorado.

He said "Jacker"

I never tire of seeing where loyal minions of the Empire click into mypetjawa from. From time to time I come across an odd referal page. This one is just classic:

Google search="jawa slur"

Apparently, we are doing something right around here! Of course, we are a little disappointed that we are only ranked 4th at Google. We work hard every day to offend--we'll have to kick it into overdrive. What really gives me a special feeling, though, is that the term "jawa" has finally made it! Over at the Racial Slur Database this entry can be found:

(Slur) Jawa (Represents) Arabs (Reasons/Origans) Sand people from Star Wars (used to refer to Arabs on South Park)

We only hope that someday the entry will attribute its popularization to Rusty Shackleford. However, one point of clarification is in order. Jawa is not a racial slur towards Arabs. In the episode of South Park, mentioned above, the term Jawa was applied to Afghanis who are not Arabic speaking people at all. In fact, many Arabs aren't true Jawas at all. Many are Jawa-dhimmis and a a growing number reject Jawa culture altogether and yearn to become part of the order brought by the Empire. But I digress. What other dandies can be found there?

(Slur) Jacker (Represents) Arabs (Reasons/Origans) Many prominent hijackings over the past 25 years were done by various Arab/Islamic fundamentalist groups.

So what is next for Rusty? Mypetjacker of course! (patent pending, patent pending)

Rumble in the Desert: Jawa God vs. Jawa Hunter

Two of the funniest entries EVER in the blogo-photoshop wars had to be published within minutes of each other forcing me to rewrite this column less than five minutes after it appeared under a different heading.

In this corner we have Allah, the moon-god of the blogosphere: Look HERE. Make sure you click on Kerry's face to see how the Grand Jawatollah of the Jawa Republic got so many ho's in his stable.

In the other corner we have Commissar, leader of the Rebel Alliance and secret ally to his Imperial Majesty. You must reveal information or he will extract it from you: look HERE and then click on his "secure KGB form" for his parady of a real CIIA (Central Imperial Intelligence Agency) program.

Who will the battle for the hearts and minds of bloggers world-wide?

Note: If it seems like I link a lot to Allah and the Commissar there is a reason: they rock! If you want me to link you too then make me laugh half as much as they do you freaking pansies.

Irony on display at mypetjawa
I don't know if there is a word for it, but its definitely, hmmm, what is the word I'm looking for.... after modern, so to speak. Look at the ad on the top of the page. Notice anything unusual? If you are seeing the ad blogspot has been running on this page all day you will notice that several Jawa organizations are actually paying my webhost to appear here. What is doubly ironic is that the site Islamic Concern is actually a Muslim vegetarian site! (Possibly affiliated with PETA) Don't they know Rusty's position on veal? The two things Rusty loves best: vegetables and Allah!
Update: Aaron "the liberal slayer" also noticed the ironicalnessness of the google adbots at his page too. (Note to Zionist in LA: Copyright infringement lawsuit on the way sucka)


(Note to Blogger and Google ads: Refine ad-bot program!)

Jawa propoganda watch
From the Imperial spy network comes a number of notable items from in and around Tattooine. In the Imperial stronghold of Mos England comes news that local Jawa leaders are trying to convince the provincials that the ancient and mystical Religion of Peas poses no threat to humankind.

"The idea is to dispel myths about these things and give people the real facts to help build a harmonious and peaceful community."

The good folks of this small outpost might be interested in "the real facts" as given by the Domestic Undersecrariat of the Imperial Ministry of Propoganda. In a related piece of intelligence, we have learned that such propoganda is even being broadcast in the Emperors home province! [Note to Emperor: Dispatch stormtroopers to TCU] Jawa dhimmi and chairman of Wake Forest University's religion department had this to say at a recent gathering of ministers of the Jedi order:

"I would maintain that the large majority of [Jawas] are as horrified and offended by violent extremism as are all of us in this room...A small band of extremists of any faith can inflict great damage"

It seems it is not only the Jawas interested in scoring propoganda points these days. Information extracted from a broken R-2 unit reveals that the Emperor is using an old Jedi mind trick to mediate a decades old civil-war between the Khartoum Band of Tusken Raider and their rock worshipping enemies all in an effort to secure the Ig-Nobel Appease Prize.

"In press statements issued a week ago, [Imperial Ministry of State] officials have said that the chances of [the Emperor] winning the prestigious Prize are 'high in case he succeeds to push for the conclusion of a peace deal between Khartoum and the rebels.'"

Er, uh, um...is it just me or do the people over at State have their heads so far-up their rears that reality seems to go no further than their own rectal cavity? In response, the Imperial Ministry of Advanced Statistical Studies plugged various non-rational numbers into a supercomputer. Undersecraty Fink, who holds advance degrees in Know-it-all-omics had the following to say:

"His Imperial Majesty has precisely a glavins chance in seventy-two trillion to receive the Ig-noble prize. What, with the Rebel Alliance, and the blue helmuts, and the hatred of the Empire, and the oi glavin!."

In further "shocking" news, Rebel Alliance representatives have agreed with 'moderate' Jawa leaders on plans for drafting a new constitution in Mos Raq.

"[the Jawa Cleric]'is sticking to his position and we share his opinion totally because elections are the only way to bring [Mos Raq] out of the tunnel', [Rebel Alliance] team leader Lakhdar Brahimi said after two hours of talks with the [cleric]. "

Why does the Imperial Ministry of State keep inviting these people to participate in our plans to bring order to the universe? Oh, wait, see above.

In unrelated news, our spies in the Jawa Republic delivered this cryptic message at a dead drop to an undercover operative.

"Election boycott effort in [the Republic] brings chance of pink revolution"

Rusty is having a hard time deciphering this message. If it means she is moving to the Republic, this is good news for the Empire. Good riddance! On the other hand, if by "pink revolution" they mean sending the boys from Queer eye for the straight guy to help the ruling theocrats add some pizzaz to their black turbans, then Rusty has some reservations. The last thing we need is the militant wing of Act-up getting its hands on WMD!

Jawas Endorse Kerry II
The dirty-birdies Cox & Forkum have a nice image for your daily reflection. You'd think for a couple of Sith masters they could have come up with cleaner nicknames!

Emperor revealed

It seems Rusty isn't the only one that thinks George Lucas was a modern prophet. The Commissar over at KGB Headquarters has jumped on the bandwagon here and suggested a number of rewrites for the original Star Wars movie. You and your blue-helmuted allies just don't get it, do you commie-pinko ? The Star Wars trilogy is Truth in its highest form with no need of rewriting from mere mortals. It was handed down from God directly to Lucas as he was on a roller coaster at Disneyland. Which brings up one of the most important questions ever asked: If Lucas had not gone to Space Mountain, would Space Mountain have come to Lucas? Of course, we agree with Michelle that as Holy Writ, the original version of Star Wars must never be tampered with. Much like the Koran, which is only sacred in its original language of Jawaneese, Star Wars only holds value when scribes do not tamper with its sacredness. So, don't even suggest messing with the Holy Star Wars or Rusty will issue a fatwah on your commie butt!

Having said that, the Commissar does make some interesting if not unholy suggestions. But he just doesn't get it. Star Wars is really an allegory of the War on Terror writ large. It doesn't need a rewrite. Everything in it is symbolic, perhaps on a level even Lucas himself doesn't get. After all, he was just the messenger, it was the message that should be studied. We can see how Lucas tried bend the message by making the script so sympathetic to the Rebel Alliance when it is clear that the grace of Allah is on the good Empire trying to bring order to the universe. To see some of these parallels, look at Rusty's archive here (character update coming soon). As proof Rusty is not just imagining this whole thing, and that the good Lord was correct when he said, "In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established (2 Cor. 13: 1) Rusty points to Tim McSweeney's definitive archive that proves Bush=Emporer Palpatine. (all links via Commissar, again [note to self: must kill Commissar])

(note to geeks: Is MT (moveable type) compatible with blogger? Any way to get trackbacks and stick with blogger? Mail me if you have the answer or I wll dispatch Jedi Knights to 'negotiate' the information from you.)

KGB "head" quarters reveals Kerry's "southern" strategy
One of Commissar's funnier posts. " Kerry Good Quotes" (Note to self: Remember to pee before visiting Lubyanka in cyberspace)

"No, I didn't have a face-lift, it was an Anus-lift,"claims Kerry
Mypetjawa finds Proof of John Kerry's "facelift" here where we found a candid photo of the Kerry's at a Fluid Milk Processors event in rural Colorado.

This in response the the incredible explosion in the blogosphere about Steyn's column which somehow manages to tie in a misprint about a "raised anus" with John Kerry's campaign.

Tusken Raiders on Trial: The Good, the Bad, and the Funny

Rusty was up early this morning practicing his Jedi skills, and as I lowered the blast shield on my practice helmut I felt several disturbances in the force. One bad, two good, and one that was....hmmm....let's just say it was interesting, interesting, very interesting, and then suddenly I lost interest. So, which to relate first? Let's go with bad and work our way up from there.

1) "Jawa extremists invade U.S., join sleeper cells" is the headline over at the Rev. Moon's daily, The Washington Times. First, if your going to read a paper run by a cult you can't do any better than the Times. I mean, sure, indirectly your contributing to mass marriages that often have the tragic side-effect of ruining the turf at your favorite sports stadium, but what are you gonna do? Second, is this really news? I mean isn't "news" technically some sort of information that is, well, you know, 'new'? Must be a slow "news" day. We'll call this bad news since it may come as a shock to you that this "network of training camps 'represents a serious threat to the United States, one that cannot be ignored.'"

2) "3 Members of Oregon Tusken Cell Sentenced" from the L.A. Times
and "Va. Jihad Case Opens Against Jawa Men" from the Washington Post (both via Jihad Watch). Ok, both papers suck the light saber, but call a spade a spade, this is good news. One of the jihadis, Mike Hawash, even had the cajones to say, "I am still proud to be a U.S. citizen, and I regret my actions," further stating that "I wish to ask forgiveness from my family, my friends in this community and the people of the United States." Apology accepted. Oh and Mr. Hawash...a bit of advice before going to Federal "Pound Me in the Ass" Prison: watch out for the cornhole. But seriously, I'm afraid that cornohle health will be the least of Hawash's troubles. Rusty expects a fatwah on his butt any day now for betraying the cause. He could take a lesson from the other jawa loyalists who's trial began today who portray themselves, "as devoted Muslims who engaged in military training out of a religious duty to stay in shape and defend themselves against what they perceived as anti-Muslim bias." See, when you try to take up arms against the US its not your fault, its America's fault for being so biggoted. Defense lawyers, "called the defendants loyal Americans and criticized the government for making the case about Islam." Both headlines are good news. Somebody up there in the Justice Department is taking the Jawa threat to the Empire seriously.

3) The funny. This headline at the SF Gate (via Drudge) "Pornographer to sell Whitehouse.com Web address." Some of you may not beleive it, but Rusty has actually been to that website on accident on several occasions. Once, in days long before pop-up blockers were invented by some brave Jedi, I typed into Whitehouse.com in the office as several co-workers strolled on by and for every click to close the page, two more "special" sites kept popping up. So, on the one hand office spaces will be that much safer and I also hear that the Emperorr himself is celebrating this one as it his personal website that is usually confused with the site of ill repute. On the other hand, Rusty's friends, like Butters, aren't going to be able to use the ol' "I just typyed in the wrong address" excuse when certain photos are found in their caches. All good things must come to an end. RIP.

Supreme Jawa Council of Tattooine Endorses former Storm Trooper: Iran-Contra Redux
Allah *the merciful, the compassionate* points to this article which makes the following suggestion:

The last thing the conservative clerics [in Iran] want is an enraged George Bush sitting safely in the Oval office for four more years...Teheran’s aim is to see Bush defeated. The thinking in Teheran is that a Democratic president would not have the stomach to go to war in order to save Iraq’s middle class.

So it seems that the good Mullahs want JFK for President, eh? I think I smell scandal brewing. The kind of scandal that would completely redefine Iran-Contra:

1) Majles-e-Shura-ye-Eslami passes Ayatollah Boland Amendment, prohibiting the funding of the Bush resistance forces.
2) Iran sells arms to hostage-takers in Lebanon.
3) Money is illegally diverted to "moderates" in the U.S.
4) Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khameini denies knowledge of contributions to the Kerry campaign.
5) Courageous Colonel in the Revolutionary Guards Corps takes the fall.

Islamojawa-Contrakerrygate?

Die Tusken Raiders: A rewrite of "The 19 Lions."

Little Green Footballs has a segment of the most disgusting article ever written here. It is the most vile piece of @#$!#$ I have ever read. I am literally sick to my stomach that these Jawa fanatics would set out to praise the 19 men who died while murdering 3,000 innocents. Below, you will find the entire story. However, I took the liberty to give it the old mypetjawa edit. Let me know which version you like better: Rusty vs. Islamojawafascist. Enjoy.

[Scene: Northern Alliance Front Lines]
On a historic sunny November morning in 2001, a few men, armed with little more than their faith, rudimentary GPS locaters, and a satellite phone brought the greatest force for evil on earth to her knees.......

[Cut to Air Force B-52 Bomber]
“Fasten your seat belt,” you kid to your co-pilot. You buckle up just a little tighter. Your co-pilot goes over the mission one more time, you ignore him as usual. The plane is ushered onto the runway; there is a slight pause and then the sounds of the engine rise to a crescendo in tandem with the adrenaline surging through your blood. The plane ascends, a brief pause, now you are flying. Your pulse is racing, you can feel your heart thudding against your chest; admonishing yourself you increase your remembrance of the horror of the Twin Towers. You look at your watch. In your mind, the countdown which began the day you were given your mission details moves closer to zero hour. You pick up the mission brief one last time, appearing to flick through the pages you once more go over the details of the bombing operation: soon there will be no room for error.

[cut back to the front lines]
The minutes move too slowly, you are eager to send them to Hell: finally the time arrives. Without a glance you rise from your seat behind Northern Alliance lines and dart to the top of the hill. Securing control of your satellite phone, you set your sights on your target. As the plane approaches, you look about you at the faces of your Northern Alliance brothers in arms and all you see is the blazing light shining off their faces. Attempting to conceal your delight you direct the plane towards the Talliban outpost, with a prayer you shout ‘Allahu Akbar (Allah is the Greatest)’ to your new allies, knowing the end of the Talliban is at hand, as you graciously guide the plane's GPS guided bombs into the Talliban outpost, obliterating an Idol of the Middle Ages.

This is obviously merely a guess, we will have to wait for the exact details as the first hand account is classified information reserved for the inhabitants of Langley Virginia (and for those in Hell, who know the wrath of the American Air Force!), and I ask God that it is so. If God overlooks my countless sins and showers mercy upon me in far excess of what I deserve and grants me heaven; I will ask the CIA Operatives, perhaps Johnny Micheal Spannin (first CIA KIA Afghanistan) particular, to tell his story time and time again, and when signs of boredom appear on his face, I will move onto another of those involved in bringing the most barbaric regime on earth down. Perhaps moving onto William Carlson (RIP-CIA KIA Afghanistan), or Christopher Glenn Mueller (RIP-CIA KIA Afghanistan)(whose died tracking down Al Qaida SOBs in Afghanistan) for I will never tire of hearing about this tale of unparalleled valour.

Blog history month: mypetjawa's guide to Tattooine

The Commisar over at KGB headquarters has declared this blog history month. Who am I to go against the party line? In keeping with the spirit of the season (and because traffic keeps going up up up), Rusty points the reader to his classic piece on understanding the lexicon here at mypetjawa-----> JAWAS EXPLAINED: A GUIDE TO MYPETJAWA

Please feel free to comment. We will update the guide as needed. A few loyal readers have already pointed out a few inconsistencies in my theory here. Who is Luke Skywaler wonders Bravo Romeo Delta? Butters wonders if Bobba Fett is a member of Special Ops? All important questions begging to be answered! But on the bright side, Gen. Jack D. Ripper (Ret.) has definitively identified Chewbacca!

Update: Bravo Romeo Delta from Anticipatory Retaliation thinks he's on to something:

I am pretty certain that Grand Moff Tarkin would be Dick Cheney, which would, I suppose make Darth Vader Tony Blair and Darth Maul Don Rumsfeld. Or maybe Blair is Grand Moff Tarkin, the the Darths Vader and Maul are Cheney and Rumsfeld, respectively.

Of course, we all know who the Emperor is.

Tusken Raiders blow up more innocent civillians, no one surprised

Ok, they are at it again. The big news this morning is the Moscow subway bombing. Of course, the leader of the Chechen resistance denies involement. Looks like Yasser Arafat's playbook is finding some devotees. Now, Rusty ought to let his good readers know that in another parallel dimension he once lived in Moscow. He still has friends over there. He used to ride that metro four of five times a day. This pisses him off. I'm not saying Putin is my ideal, but Bush and Sharon ought to pay close attention to his response:
"Russia does not negotiate with terrorists, it annihilates them"

Now that is the kind of response I want to hear from an ally in the war on terror. But wait, there is more. This is not the only time in the last week Russia has been hit by terrorism. Pravda reports that on Feb. 3 a bomb killed an elderly woman and a cadet at a local military academy as they walked down the main street in Vladikavkaz. Also, a suicide bomber was caught before he could detonate himself in Dagestan, a province next to Chechnya with a [surprise!!] high concentration of Muslims. Why do I have to go to Pravda to read about these acts of terror? Why does the Martha Stewart case preempt this?

Since my day is going so poorly already, I came across this story which did cheer me up a bit and I'd thought I'd share it. Can anybody out there explain to me this bit: "he saw a sexual dog whose behavior was provoking."??? (Note to readers: It wasn't even his dog.)

"Hot dog" update: Props to Allah (*the merciful, the compassionate*) for the link. This story sheds new light on Michael Jordan's oblique references to "hot dogs" in all those Ball Park commercials.

'Moderate' Jawa cleric backs Imperial plan, Tusken Raiders attempt assassination

Back-door loving 'moderate' Shiite cleric Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani gave the thumbs up to a UN plan to study the feasibility of early elections in Iraq yesterday. But Gulf News reports that "in a move that could undermine Al Sistani's apparent flexibility, radical Shiite leader Moqtada Al Sadr branded the United Nations a "dishonest" body that served America's agenda and had no role to play in future Iraqi elections. " Within the last hour reports are all over the news that Sistani has escaped an assassination attempt. Do you think they want him dead because he is a collaborater or because of his stance on sex in a certain uncomfortable position?

Update: Was there an assassination attempt or not?Now Sistani denies earlier reports.
(Note to self: look up word 'truth'in Arabic dictionary)

0/2: Where is Imperial Justice when it is needed? (or, did we lose a war?)

First at bat: Abdul Qadeer Khan. Crime? Selling imperial secrets to rogue jawa tribes. Outcome: Pardoned.
Next at the plate: Abdel-Ghani Mzoudi. Crime? 3,000 counts of accessory to murder. Outcome: Not guilty.

Pardon me, but aren't we still OCCUPYING Germany? Didn't we WIN that war? What the hell is going on here? And can someone remind me why we need the Pakis for the war on terror? Might an alternative strategy be to openly support the Indians and end the 50 year old border war once and for all? How exactly is a nuclear war on the sub-continent a bad thing for us? Are you going to tell me that a BILLION Indians can't win that war? Today is going to be a bad day. Serenity now, serenity now, serenity now, ........

Rebel Alliance gives mypetjawa honorable mention:

The Commisar over at The Politburo Diktat gives Rusty the nod here. I recommend going there at least twice daily for communism's best blog. His parody of "Iraq's Most Wanted" deck of cards is absolutely classic. Could Rusty be on the deck some day? He can only hope and pray to Allah, the moon-god of the Jawas and Tusken Raiders.

Tusken women among us

From The Herald Sun:
THE Australian wife of jailed terror suspect Willie Brigitte emerged from a long-awaited prison meeting with her husband to declare her support for jihad. "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter," said Melanie Brown, quoting a slogan adopted by many supporters of extreme militant groups -- including al-Qaida. "I may get into trouble saying that . . . but I have heard it a lot, and I agree with it. "For Muslims, the jihad is compulsory. It is the struggle . . . the struggle for God."

(Note to Orwell's ghost: commence rolling over in grave.)

Jedi Knight meets with Jawa tribal elders

"Ashcroft assures Indonesia that fight is against terrorists, not religion" reads the headline over at AZcentral. Oh no, say it isn't so Ashie!!!! Ok, maybe you just have to say crap like that when your on a diplomatic mission to Indonesia, but this is going to far: "We have convened here in Bali to deepen our cooperation against those who oppose our shared values and those who would murder innocents"

What exactly does Ashcroft mean by our shared values? Which values are you talking about?

"Through the cooperative efforts of countries represented at this ministerial meeting we will win the battle for freedom, we will win the battle for tolerance, we will win the battle to defeat terror." Arrggghhhh!!! You have got to be kidding? Even Chomsky on a high lithium dose day wouldn't dare call the Indonesians tolerant (note to self: revisit East Timor files). Note to Ashie: Indonesia is an ally of convenience, not an ally by virtue of our common values.

Kassie Church Revealed:

After Kassie called yours truly a racist here (you'll need to scroll down her page to "Know your enemy") on her blog, the conversation here at mypetjawa quickly turned from Kassie's politics to much more important issues--Is she hot (look in the comments here)? Just to set the facts straight, I am a happily married man (Nancy) and father of one son (Joseph). But being sort of guy that I am, I'm always on the lookout for my bachelor friends. Sure she's been brainwashed by her left-wing professors, but hey, nobody is perfect and people can change. For instance, Ronald Reagan was once a staunch Democrat, Pat Buchanan was a Republican, and Arianna Huffington was--well, just about everything.

So after desperate pleas from my readers, Kassie has posted what appears to be a pic. Thanks Kassie.
(Note to readers: Again, scroll down the page a bit. The furry little rodent is not Kassie, but appears to be a groundhog.)

UPDATE: Kassie wants devoted readers to take a look at pictures she's archived (at the bottom of the page here and here ) and not to give her the thumbs up or down until they've veiwed more flattering photos.

Jawa propoganda: What we hear vs. what they actually say:

Here are the headlines:
"Top Saudi cleric: terrorism is un-Islamic" JPOST
"Top Cleric Denounces Terrorism as Hajj Peaks" LA Times
"Cleric denounces terrorism" Miami Herald

The list goes on and on. The one that really hurts is "Saudi Leader Urges Pilgrims to Reject Violence" from your tax funded VOA. Of course, VOA is explicitly supposed to be propoganda--But OUR PROPOGANDA NOT JAWA PROPOGANDA!!! (Note to self: stop paying taxes) Now it would be nice if the good cleric had actually condemned terrorism and/or violence, but what does he actually say? I couldn't find a transcript of the entire sermon, but here are some highlights I pieced together from different sources.

"Islam has forbidden violence in all its forms; it has forbidden hijacking aeroplanes, ships and other means of transport and has forbidden all acts that would undermine security," said Sheikh Abdul Aziz al-Sheikh at Namirah mosque... " (from Hi Pakistan) Ok so far. Amen brother, pass the plate. But wait, let's get to the good stuff: "Allah says the penalty of those that fight Allah and his prophet and spread violence and terror is to be killed, crucified or have their hands and legs chopped off."

Er, where is the whole Islam=Peace I'm supposed to beleive in? Is that what Allah *the merciful, the compassionate* really wants? I'm on board for the whole crucify terrorist thing, but who, exactly, are they "that fight Allah"? Quoting what are said to be some of the last words of Muhammed (*Peace be upon his name*) he clarifies the point: "Know that every Muslim is a Muslim's brother, and the Muslims are bretheren. Fighting between them should be avoided." (from ABC News)

Is jihad justified? The good Muslim should ask this:
"Is it holy war to shed Muslim blood? Is it holy war to shed the blood of non-Muslims given sanctuary in Muslim lands? Is it holy war to destroy the possession of Muslims" (from ABC News) Translation: On the one hand we condemn the killing of Muslims (which is our definition of terrorism). On the other hand: "Prayers were offered for the glory of Islam and the emancipation of the occupied Muslim lands" (from Hi Pakistan) Translation: Kill the Jews in Palestine and Americans forces in Iraq.

What really pisses me off is that the whole point of these sermons was not to condemn terrorism at all. Remember, this is jawa propoganda for jawa consumption. The multi-cultural media just jumped on the story to reinforce the false belief that Islam "is the religion of peace." So all of these stories are nothing but pure propoganda of the worst kind. What, then, was the real purpose of the sermon? Remember, this was a sermon preached by a man who gets his paycheck from the House of Saud. The sermon was meant for domestic consumption. Here is how the official organ of the kingdom of jawas headlines its version of the story:

"Crush Terror Mercilessly: Grand Mufti" (from Arab News)

Look closer at the story, you'll see what is up: "Islam has also called for the killing of anyone who attempts to undermine legitimate rulers or divide Muslims.” and: "“Islam has made the fulfillment of treaties and pledges compulsory and has given importance to protecting the blood of allies" and "Sheikh Abdul Aziz, the Kingdom’s highest religious authority, said a true Muslim who intended to serve Islam would never try to undermine the Ummah." [Ummah, as defined by Islam Today : "The word ummah can be translated as “a nation” or “a community”. The Ummah in this context would be all Muslims or countries ruled by Muslims (including non-Muslims under dhimmitude)]

He goes on: “Jihad does not mean shedding the blood of Muslims or killing peaceful people or destroying their properties,” he said and urged Muslims to act prudently and wisely and not be driven by emotions or passions." and lastly, "Calling people to God’s message, promoting good relations between Muslims and carrying out one’s duties are part of jihad. He condemned the attitude of some extremists who brand others infidels or enemies of God."

So are we getting the point here? Don't kill other Muslims. Don't pillage other muslims. Don't make war on legitimate authority. Don't call other Muslims infidels. This sermon is nothing more than Saudi Arabia telling the jihadists not to attack them! The Saudi's are a legitimate authority. Stop preaching against them. Stop calling them infidels. Stop calling for jihad against them. A sermon is delivered to almost 2 million people at the Hajj, warning them not to attack Saudi Arabia and the Western media reports it as a condemnation of terrorism??? (Note to self: Serenity now. Serenity now. Serenity now...) Tell me again how these people are tolerant and are supposed to be an ally in the war on terror?

Jawa propoganda watch:

Look how the AP words this story:

"The leaders of violent Islamic groups are targets for assassination, Israel's defense minister said Sunday, raising the possibility of a further escalation in the three years of Israeli-Palestinian bloodshed."

So, Israel is "raising the possiblility of a further escalation" is it?

But wait, fair reader, read on:

"Shaul Mofaz issued the threat in response to a declaration by the spiritual leader of Hamas, Sheik Ahmed Yassin, that the group plans an all-out effort to kidnap Israeli soldiers."

Wait, let me get this straight.
1) Hamas' leader wants to kidnap Israeli soldiers (Note to Israel: Great idea that whole prisoner exchange thing!)
2) Israel responds by saying leaders of Hamas need to be killed
3) Israel is to blame for any escalation

But wait, it gets better:
"Last week, Israel killed eight Palestinians in Gaza City, while a Palestinian suicide bomber killed 11 people in Jerusalem. "

Outrageous. What the AP doesn't say is that the 8 "Palestinians" all had guns and were shooting at IDF troops. What were the 11 Israelis doing? Riding a bus.

It is this sort of equivocation that makes me fear we cannot win this war against terrorism.

Annual Mos Eisley Pilgramage Report: RoP Riot Update.

"Nearly 250 Muslim worshipers died in a hajj stampede Sunday during the annual stoning of Satan ritual in one of the deadliest tragedies at the notoriously perilous ceremony."

Recall (see yesterday's post) that the official organ of the jawa kingdom reported that this year's years Haj had:

"...touch of violence, no terrorism. There is nothing but Islam — peace, love and purity."

Again, from today's story:

"Last year, 14 pilgrims were trampled to death during the ritual and 35 died in a 2001 stampede. In 1998, 180 pilgrims died."

And from Al-jazeera we learn that:
"The worst toll of the pilgrimage was in July 1990, when 1426 pilgrims were trampled or asphyxiated to death in a tunnel in Mina."

That's 1,426!!!!!

So, let me get this straight. This was one of the holiest ceremonies of the RoP? Can you imagine a riot at St. Peter's square? Or how about a stampede at a Benny Hinn "faith healing"? What were these peace loving Muslims doing that caused them to riot?

"The devil-stoning is the most animated ritual of the annual pilgrimage and often the most dangerous. Many pilgrims frantically throw rocks, shout insults or hurl their shoes at the pillars - acts that are supposed to demonstrate their deep disdain for the devil."

Ah, nice. I'd participate in that, of course my religion is not the "religion of peace". But, who, pray tell, is the "devil" that rocks are thrown at? I'm sure that for most its Satan, Beelzibub, Freddie Kruegger, etc. But look here, it seems that to at least some, the devil is encarnate and his name aint Damien:

"Calling America "the greatest Satan," Egyptian pilgrim Youssef Omar threw pebbles at one pillar where someone scrawled "USA."

Hmmm, I didn't see that one coming. The way the AP reports it, it was one guy, but come on. Let's remember that only Muslims are allowed anywhere near Mecca so the reporter himself was involved in the Hajj. No one would accuse Muslims of trying to portray the RoP in the best light possible, would they?

Lesson to be learned: Here the moral, click here.

"Sudan bombs Chadian border town" is the headline over at the Tusken Raider's favorite paper.

Will the UN condemn Sudan?

(Hint: No Jews involved means no UN action)

---------------------------
Annual Mos Eisley Pilgramage report

This is how the official organ of the islamojawas reports the annual Haj:

"The white tents stretching out in all direction in the city reflect peace and purity. There is no touch of violence, no terrorism. There is nothing but Islam — peace, love and purity."

And by "Peace" they must mean this, as heard in this prayer at the Grand Mosque:

"Oh God, give victory to the mujahedeen (holy warriors) everywhere," al-Taleb said. "Give them victory in Palestine. Oh God, make the Muslims triumphant and destroy their enemies, and make this country and other Muslim countries safe. Oh God, inflict your wrath on the criminal Zionists."

Let's cut back to the Arab News version of the event:

"There is no anger, no hot tempers and no arguments — things generally ingrained in the human psyche. Instead all around is tolerance at its peak, magnanimity at its best and total acceptance."

Tolerance. Right.



(Note to Orwell: Please have works translated into Arabic)

----------------------------------
Mypetjawa reveals Tom Clancy is jedi master

Forget increasing the budgets of the CIA and FBI, let's just hire Tom Clancy. It seems that once again Tom Clancy gets it right. This news was all over the blogosphere yesterday:

Hizballah entering U.S. through Mexico (headline via jihad watch)

Over Christmas break Rusty read his Dad's copy of Clancy's newest pulp-garbage "The Teeth of the Tiger". One interesting subplot was that terrorists would use our porous borders with Mexico to enter the U.S.

For those of you in the know, you might also recall Clancy's "Debt of Honor" which included a plane crashing into the Capital.

Rusty senses certain Jedi powers in Clancy

----------------------------------
Former Imperial General seeks support of jawa's linked to Tusken Raiders:

NY Daily News (via Jihad Watch) reveals that:

"Retired Gen. Wesley Clark sought the political support of a Muslim group that is under FBI investigation for terror ties, sources told the Daily News."

The groups in question have, "have held conferences featuring speakers accused of terror ties and have published material supporting suicide bombings against Israel."

This raises the important question: Are there any Islamic groups left out there without ties to terrorist organizations?

(Note to "W": Don't meet with Islamic groups)

(Note to self: sell Dean stock short)

Rusty Shackleford is a racist says Kassie Church

I guess she was offended by something here. Go figure. Of course, since the express purpose of this site is to offend Rusty says GOOD.

She also says everyone I've linked to is a fascist. Perhaps Kassie should go here to see pictures of the historic ties between traditional fascists and islamojawafascists. While she is there, I hope she takes note of the picture of Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, and leader of the anti-Zionist movement, Haj Amin al Husseini inspecting Arab SS troops.

Note to Kassie: The Imperial forces are anti-fascists. Don't beleive the Rebel Alliances propoganda!

(Note to self: What would the "greatest generation" have thought about viciously lampooning the enemy?)

----------------------
Imperial Troops to launch spring offensive against Tusken Raiders:neighboring jawas uneasy

Kill em all boys, let Allah sort them out

Tusken Raiders report attrocity

So how does Al jazeera report today's murders in Israel? I took the liberty of pasting EVERY section headline from the story. Folks, this is what they don't mind us reading, imagine what they say in private!!

Al-Aqsa Brigades claims Jerusalem bombing

Blast justified

Israel responsible

Humiliation of Palestinians

Jawas still blame settlers for raid on Imperial ship:

Why is this front page news at Arab News 37 years after the fact? And who is James Bamford?

37 Years On ‘Liberty’ Is Still Taboo Subject

Recently, an obscure historian for the State Department held a panel discussion on the Liberty incident, where the Israeli Army mistakenly sunk a Navy spy ship during the 1967 war. The official explanation was that the Israelis beleived the ship to be an Egyptian horse carrier (note to self: does PETA know the JEWS were targetting innocent horses?)

However settled the matter may be, Arab media claims considerable "controversy" still exists over the matter:

"Israel intentionally tried to sink the Liberty, Bamford argued, to cover up the massacre of Egyptian prisoners of war in the Sinai. President Johnson’s administration then hid the facts to avoid harming ties with Israel."

Er, whaaa? So let me get this straight.....Israel sunk a Navy ship on purpose so we wouldn't find out they had massacred Egyptian POW's....and this makes sense because??????

But wait, it gets better:

"A young man wearing a yarmulke was heard to comment, “I can’t believe people are still so upset after all these years!”

A Jew!!! I knew it!! When is the State Department going to admit that our staunchest ally in the region intentionally provoked a war with us in order to stop us from sending them more arms and money. I smell cover-up.

UPDATE: Who is James Bamford??

About 30 seconds of digging revealed who this "Bamford" was that accuses the US of covering up the Zionist attrocities. Would it surprise anyone that that in an ABC News report Bamford "revealed" that the US Military had plans to "to trick the American public and the international community into supporting a war to oust Cuba's then new leader, communist Fidel Castro."

How do we trick the good folks in flyover country?
"....the plans reportedly included the possible assassination of Cuban émigrés, sinking boats of Cuban refugees on the high seas, hijacking planes, blowing up a U.S. ship, and even orchestrating violent terrorism in U.S. cities...."

Bamford even claims that:
"America's top military brass even contemplated causing U.S. military casualties(emphasis mine), writing: 'We could blow up a U.S. ship in Guantanamo Bay and blame Cuba," and, "casualty lists in U.S. newspapers would cause a helpful wave of national indignation.'"

It just gets better and better:
"The Joint Chiefs even proposed using the potential death of astronaut John Glenn during the first attempt to put an American into orbit as a false pretext for war with Cuba"

I'm surprised the Joint Chiefs didn't plan to go after Mickey Mantle too!

Ok, I *might* buy that there were "plans" that some dude in CIA cooked up, but Bamford claims the Joint Chiefs actually wanted to go through with it but that Kennedy overruled them....this is getting into tin foil hat country.

(note to self: restock tin foil supply)

Jawas explained (a brief guide)

Ok, so I've been doing some thinking....not a lot, just some. It seems we can now safely divide our enemies into two camps.



First, you got the jawas. See, these guys don't really like us but don't mind making a buck selling us an R2 unit or oil or whatever. It doesn't matter to them if your part of the Imperial powers that be or a member of the Empire hating Rebel Alliance, as far as they are concerned you are just another colonist that a buck can be made from. You see, according to their custom they own Tatooine and everyone else should be subjected to them. It really makes no sense to them how we, an uncultured and unsophisticad lot, could control so much of the planet as it rightfully belongs to their ancient culture. They despise being a second rate power when they were the most advanced civillization for so long. They hate you but tolerate you. The only thing they hate more than you are the "settlers" that ventured out into the desert. In public, they openly rail against these settlers and say they wouldn't mind the rest of the colonists if we would just withdraw our support for this small minority. This would placate some of them, for sure, but they would just find another excuse to resent us. For the most part, the jawas can be dealt with. They live their semi-nomadic life and simply want to be left alone. But don't misunderstand them, while they wouldn't personally kill you, when a Tusken Raider takes the life of an Imperial Stormptrooper or even an innocent colonist, they secretly (and sometimes openly) celebrate. Jawa political society varies from clan to clan, with some tribes even outwardly adopting many of the customs of the colonists they so despise. However, in all cases leaders rule with an iron fist.



Second, you got your Tusken Raiders. These guys are a lot like the jawas, but are bigger and meaner. Like the jawas, they too claim that Tattooine belongs to them. In fact, they are a sub-species of the jawas but they claim to be the only "true" followers of the ancient ways. The more radical among them have declared open season on the jawa leadership who they believe have lost their way. Even the most traditional of jawa clans are sellouts, in their view, since they openly trade with the colonists. Unlike the jawas, they do not think that peaceful coexistence with the colonists is possible. The believe that both the Imperials and the Rebels are basically controlled by the small group of desert settlers. Both the Emperor himself and the President of the Rebel Council are really puppets for this small group that had the audacity to wander out of the cities and into the unfertile desert. While they share with the jawas a contempt for all things human, they take their anger one step further: they beleive colonists should be killed until the day that Tusken society dominates Tattooine. In order to further that goal, they train their young to kill colonists at every opportunity. Tusken society should be respectfully feared but are not a long term threat to the Empire's grasp on this quadrant. While the Tuskens beleive their raids have severely weakend the Empire's grip on Tattooine, the truth is that the damage done by them is rarely significant. In recent years the Tusken's have taken to hijacking women, taking captives as slaves, and have occasionally hijacked an Imperial transport cruiser or two. Unlike the jawas that can be tolerated, Tusken Raiders should be killed at every opportunity. Our restraint only emboldens them as it makes us look weak. Often they hide among the jawas. They know we are reluctant to shoot innocent jawas and they know that jawas rarely will turn them over to the Empire. In some places (for example here, and here) they have rested control from the jawa leadership and have imposed a harshly traditional way of life. In fact, many jawas now openly oppose Tusken rule and might be valuable allies of convenience.

From Arab News:

"In the same way that Jews were horribly persecuted down the centuries by the ignorant and the bigoted as being Christ killers, it appears a similar type of ignoramus has emerged with regard to Muslims and Sept.11. The intellectually challenged, the apathetic and the gung-ho are being slowly indoctrinated to formulate such a linkage in their own minds. Let’s face it. Without this fabricated slur on Muslims, the Bush administration’s surges into Afghanistan and Iraq would have come up against massive public opposition."

Consider this website the intellectually challenged doing their part. Tusken Raiders beware!!

From the I can't believe its not a joke department:

Supermarket Chain Sells Sacrificial Sheep

"Religious authorities monitor transport and delivery to ensure that the animals arrive in good condition and that the buyer actually gets the sheep he paid for. If the buyer is unsatisfied with any part of the procedure, the supermarket does not argue about refunds. “The sacrifice and donation of an animal is a sensitive and significant religious act; we respect its seriousness to the buyer who is also a donor,” said Hootsen. “Because the animal has been tagged, it can be identified as the gift of a particular buyer whose name is called out at the moment of sacrifice.”

The animal is butchered with a portion returning to the supermarket — with the tag — for the customer to collect. The remainder becomes a donation to charity."


Doesn't that take all the fun out of it??

Anti-Americans I'd like to meet

'Jewification' [of Palestine]

You'd expect this from the RoP, but the Druze too? Talk about your Dhimmi mentality. MEMRI reports:

".... the fall of one Jew, whether soldier or civilian, is a great accomplishment" says Walid Jumblatt, chairman of the (Druze) Socialist Progressive Party and member of the Lebanese parliament.

Speaking of Hamas Mother of the Year and human bomb, Reem Al-Riyashi, she justified the terrorist act by calling on all Arabs to remember that the intifada required "opposing the 'Jewification' [of Palestine]"

"Jewification"? Isn't that something that started once the ZOGs forced Seinfeld into eternal primetime syndication??

I have another word: JAWAFICATION. I'ts what the jihadists want the world to look like and its much scarier than Seinfeld ever was.

Is Powell a fool, or just a good liar?

"We have been talking not only to the Saudis but to other Middle Eastern leaders and Muslim leaders around the world, and made it clear to them that Islam is a great religion," says Powell (via jihadwatch) as he lectures Tatooine's indigenous population on the merits of adding things like math to the primary curriculum.

Great? Oh wait. I get it. "Great" as in Alexander the Great, meaning "remarkable in magnitude, degree, or effectiveness " (from merriam-webster). Ex: "The RoP is great at kidnapping 14 year old Christian girls and forcing them to marry Muslims to make good little Muslim babies."

Yeah. Great.

The Saudi's respond by denying "reports that it was under pressure from the United States and other Western countries to change its educational curriculum. He pointed out the Kingdom was revising the curriculum for the educational development of its people and that the decision was its own."

Right. It was your own idea. Right.

--------------------------
Pot calls kettle black

Maybe the 40 years spent in dar al Islam fried Nobuaki Notohara's brain. In his new book, reviewed here at MEMRI, he decides to give some constructive criticism to Arabs. He wants Arabs to learn from the progress Japan has made over the past 50 years. Great call. Let's hope he doesn't get a fatwah laid on his ass because he is pretty honest in his assessment of Arab repression. However, Mr. Notohara seems to have believed all the rubbish they taught him growing up (hey, teacher, leave them kids alone). Apparently, Ike should have replaced MaCarthur with someone who would have kept tighter control of what the Japs were teaching their poor gullible kids. Its not so much that his wish for a more free and less repressive Middle East is wrong, as is his total misunderstanding of the REASON Japan is now an open society. He seems to think the Japanese VOLUNTARY and INTERNALLY reformed their system.

For instance:

"The author is aware of the fact that Japan was in the past subject to oppression. But the Japanese freed themselves from it, and it became history."

--and if by "freed themselves" from it they mean "America forced us to become free" I agree.

But wait, there is more:

"The Japanese had to deal with the bitter and difficult experience of the Japanese military taking control of the emperor, the government, and the people and leading the country to war... But we recognized our mistake and decided to correct it. We expelled the military and decided to rebuild what was destroyed by the military oppression. We learned that oppression leads to destruction of national resources and the murder of innocents..."

--Earth to Japan, "WE NUKED YOUR ASSES INTO FREEDOM!"

Here is where he gets it dead on right:

"....his Arab friends have asked him: 'The U.S. destroyed you by dropping two nuclear bombs on your cities. Why don't you hate America?' He answers: 'We must admit our mistakes. We were imperialist and we conquered peoples and destroyed many lands - China, Korea, and Oceania. We must criticize ourselves and then correct our mistakes.."

-Amen brother. (Note to self: CC to entire Islamic world)

The real danger in this work is that it misinterprets history. History teaches us that we can impose our values on foreign culture. The question to me, really, is: To what extent is Islamic culture similar/different than German and Japanese culture? Is it similar enough to "get" what were forcing them to learn in Iraq? Or, is it too different that they will never acquiesce to our forceful reeducation? The answer to me is completely unclear.

Another, and perhaps more pressing question is: do we have the will to impose some of our values in Iraq? Here it is more clear: NO. Many of us are not convinced of the superiority of liberal values. Multiculturalism and relativism teach that its all the same, its really just a matter of preferences. If we don't beleive our values are better than why fight for them?

(Note to POTUS: Please take out all hostile media outlets in Iraq. Propoganda works.)

Saudi 'new image' TV channel debuts

Apparently the Saudi's have had it up to here about our constant whining that they don't do enough:

"We want to tell the world about our country, to give a new image," he said. "The American media... put out things about Saudi Arabia that are not true - like that Saudi Arabia is not fighting fundamentalists."

Er, does anyone not see the oxymoron here?

But wait, it gets better. The new "Progressive" house of Saud now has girls on TV! Yes, real live girls!



What am I doing locked in my room? Just "watching" the news mom! That's right baby, just a little more chin...ooh, yeah.

------------------------------------------------
Afghan court protests at women singers:

Yeah, but are they hot??

Muhammed *peace be upon his name* says:

"And He drove down those of the followers of the Book [ie, Christians/Jews] who backed them from their fortresses and He cast awe into their hearts; some you killed and you took captive another part.

And He made you heirs to their [ie, Christians/Jews] land and their dwellings and their property, and (to) a land which you have not yet trodden, and Allah has power over all things." Sura 33:26-27

'Hey people it was only a tower and I swear by God that they [US] are the ones who pulled it down.' sings Egyptian pop-star Abd Al-Rahim.

Praise Allah and pass the ammunition.

Blog up, life down. So why did I start this blog? Because I felt like it, that's why. Screw you guys I'm going home.

No, really, the real reason I started this blog is because I found myself reading a whole bunch of garbage about the RoP and thought I'd at my .000097% of two cents into the cesspool that is cyberspace.

The question for me is this: How dangerous is the Islamist movement?

In my view the answer is: Very dangerous.

This is no small matter and I think it is one that divides the country. In some ways the division between Cold Warriors and the Dovish libs were largely differences of perception. IF communism was a REAL threat to the US, THEN the investigations into communist party members in the State Department were a good thing. However, IF communism was NOT a very large threat to the US, THEN we should let commies, or democrats, or whoever work in the State Department. Liberals did not really believe that communism was such a large threat while conservatives generally saw it as such (forget the left, to them communism was GOOD, or at least better than bourgois capitalism).

Today, we must ask ourselves if the Islamist movement threatens our nation, its interests, and the world. In my view the answer is YES, YES, YES. Islamists wish to replace friendly regimes with hostile ones. They wish to replace secular law with Sharia. They wish to take back lands once ruled by Islam (from Spain through India). In the long run they envision a world ruled by Islam. Yes, it is true that they would allow Christians and Jews to privately worship, but would ban conversions and religious free speech. Christians and Jews are to be ruled as second-class citizens. If that isn't bad enough, they also wish to vanquish Buddhism, Hinduism, and animism from the world--totally.

With that in mind, we need to dig deeper and ask, Q:What is the ideological source of those that wish to create the world-wide Caliphate? A: Islam.

Another way in wich our war against Islamists is similar to the Cold War is the way in which liberals and conservatives disagreed on the role of Marx. Many libs and lefties were always so eager to diss the Soviet Union but wished to somehow shield Marx from any culpability in Stalin's crimes. The kind of standard answer to any one blaming Marx was to say something like, "Well, Marx didn't want it to be this way." or "Marx never came up with a good plan for the transition from Socialism to Communism." Which of course is all well and true if not totally irrelevant because in Marx's writing we find the ideological justifications for the crimes of Stalin and Mao, Lenin and Castro. Think about it, if the capitalist class really was exploiting the proletariat than what is the big deal with killing those who are the oppressors? And what is the big deal if reactionary forces are sent to reeducation camps? Since Marxism is "science," those people who don't beleive in it are under false consciousness and ought to be reeducated. Right?

Many political scientists and historians look at Stalin's crimes as somehow seperate from Marxist ideology. For them, Stalin didn't really beleive in Marx but just used communism as a way to further his own personal ambitions. Have these people actually ever read Stalin's writings? Are they unaware of Stalin's devotion to Marx? In my view it is a lazy view of history that begins with an assumption of individual motives and never looks beyond that.

In our day, this intellectual laziness is even worse than during the Cold War. The intellectual elite wishes to blame certain extremists in Islam without blaming Islam itself. It is simply too difficult to beleive, for this crowd, that other human beings might actual perceive the world in a way that is totally inconceivable to Western sensibilities. To them, Stalin was just after power--it is inconceivable that Stalin might have done the things he did because he thought it was the RIGHT thing to do. To them it is similarly inconceivable that terrorists do the things they do because they think it is the RIGHT thing to do. Ok, some of them will admit that Islamic terrorists are religiously motivated, but that somehow that is not rooted in mainstream Islam. Have these people ever read the Koran? Do they know nothing of the example of Muhammed?

So far I have ellaborated two assumptions that go into writing this trifle of a blog:
A) The war against Islamists threatens the short-term security of the US and the long term survivability of Western culture.
B) The root cause of Islamism is Islam. Not poverty. Not oppression. Not Zionism. Islam.

Last, and really the gist of this blog is this:
C) In a real war, against real enemies, we need some good old fashioned, sweet down-home, funny, bigotted propoganda. Tell me, what would the "greatest generation" think of liberal wusses cringing at words like "kraut" and "nip"? Remember all those great bugs-bunny cartoons demonizing the Nazis? "Nazis is zee craziest people!" Rip-roaring fun with a message: the enemy is real and we are better than they.

So, poke fun at Islam. Make fun of Muhammed. Paint our enemies in the worst light possible. Tell jokes about them. Create art that ridicules them. Sing songs not suitable for prime-time. Offend people that need offending.

We will have no WILL to fight if we do not beleive that are cause is right and no STOMACH for the horrors of war if we do not beleive that our enemies are real.

Q: Why do we fight (props to Bill Bennet)? Good question, but a better question is: why do THEY fight?

A: Because Allah commands them to:

"And fight in the way of Allah with those who fight with you, and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits.

And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from whence they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter, and do not fight with them at the Sacred Mosque until they fight with you in it, but if they do fight you, then slay them; such is the recompense of the unbelievers.

But if they desist, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

And fight with them until there is no persecution, and religion should be only for Allah, but if they desist, then there should be no hostility except against the oppressors." (Sura 2: 190-193)

Its good to know that when they fight us they aren't supposed to 'exceed the limits' because I would hate for someone to, I dunno, kill women and children ON PURPOSE.

Also good to know that they aren't supposed to fight in mosques--I think POTUS must have read this but he didn't realize that this was a message to the followers of the RoP and not written for the 4th ID. But see, it doesn't say you can't hide weapons in mosques, you just aren't supposed to USE the weapons there (except when attacked).

I'm also glad to know they are to desist as soon as we have been driven out of the places we have driven them from--until you realize this means all of Spain (not good), some of France (no tears), Israel (nuff said), and here, here, here, and here (replace "here" with your favorite nation). Or as the leader of Hamas, Mahmoud Zahar, so eloquently puts it, "the march of resistance will continue until the Islamic flag is raised, not only on the minarets of Jerusalem, but over the whole universe." Amen, brother. Amen.

Today's lesson on the RoP--------

Muhammed *peace be upon his name* says:

"Fight those who do not believe in Allah, nor in the latter day, nor do they prohibit what Allah and His Apostle have prohibited, nor follow the religion of truth, out of those who have been given the Book, until they pay the tax in acknowledgment of superiority and they are in a state of subjection."
--Sura 9:29

Jawas? You know, sandpeople.

Still editing. This is a test.

If you think this is offensive, just wait til I really get going!