Friday, January 30, 2004

"Sudan bombs Chadian border town" is the headline over at the Tusken Raider's favorite paper.

Will the UN condemn Sudan?

(Hint: No Jews involved means no UN action)
Annual Mos Eisley Pilgramage report

This is how the official organ of the islamojawas reports the annual Haj:

"The white tents stretching out in all direction in the city reflect peace and purity. There is no touch of violence, no terrorism. There is nothing but Islam — peace, love and purity."

And by "Peace" they must mean this, as heard in this prayer at the Grand Mosque:

"Oh God, give victory to the mujahedeen (holy warriors) everywhere," al-Taleb said. "Give them victory in Palestine. Oh God, make the Muslims triumphant and destroy their enemies, and make this country and other Muslim countries safe. Oh God, inflict your wrath on the criminal Zionists."

Let's cut back to the Arab News version of the event:

"There is no anger, no hot tempers and no arguments — things generally ingrained in the human psyche. Instead all around is tolerance at its peak, magnanimity at its best and total acceptance."

Tolerance. Right.

(Note to Orwell: Please have works translated into Arabic)
Mypetjawa reveals Tom Clancy is jedi master

Forget increasing the budgets of the CIA and FBI, let's just hire Tom Clancy. It seems that once again Tom Clancy gets it right. This news was all over the blogosphere yesterday:

Hizballah entering U.S. through Mexico (headline via jihad watch)

Over Christmas break Rusty read his Dad's copy of Clancy's newest pulp-garbage "The Teeth of the Tiger". One interesting subplot was that terrorists would use our porous borders with Mexico to enter the U.S.

For those of you in the know, you might also recall Clancy's "Debt of Honor" which included a plane crashing into the Capital.

Rusty senses certain Jedi powers in Clancy
Former Imperial General seeks support of jawa's linked to Tusken Raiders:

NY Daily News (via Jihad Watch) reveals that:

"Retired Gen. Wesley Clark sought the political support of a Muslim group that is under FBI investigation for terror ties, sources told the Daily News."

The groups in question have, "have held conferences featuring speakers accused of terror ties and have published material supporting suicide bombings against Israel."

This raises the important question: Are there any Islamic groups left out there without ties to terrorist organizations?

(Note to "W": Don't meet with Islamic groups)

(Note to self: sell Dean stock short)

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Rusty Shackleford is a racist says Kassie Church

I guess she was offended by something here. Go figure. Of course, since the express purpose of this site is to offend Rusty says GOOD.

She also says everyone I've linked to is a fascist. Perhaps Kassie should go here to see pictures of the historic ties between traditional fascists and islamojawafascists. While she is there, I hope she takes note of the picture of Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, and leader of the anti-Zionist movement, Haj Amin al Husseini inspecting Arab SS troops.

Note to Kassie: The Imperial forces are anti-fascists. Don't beleive the Rebel Alliances propoganda!

(Note to self: What would the "greatest generation" have thought about viciously lampooning the enemy?)
Imperial Troops to launch spring offensive against Tusken Raiders:neighboring jawas uneasy

Kill em all boys, let Allah sort them out
Tusken Raiders report attrocity

So how does Al jazeera report today's murders in Israel? I took the liberty of pasting EVERY section headline from the story. Folks, this is what they don't mind us reading, imagine what they say in private!!

Al-Aqsa Brigades claims Jerusalem bombing

Blast justified

Israel responsible

Humiliation of Palestinians
Jawas still blame settlers for raid on Imperial ship:

Why is this front page news at Arab News 37 years after the fact? And who is James Bamford?

37 Years On ‘Liberty’ Is Still Taboo Subject

Recently, an obscure historian for the State Department held a panel discussion on the Liberty incident, where the Israeli Army mistakenly sunk a Navy spy ship during the 1967 war. The official explanation was that the Israelis beleived the ship to be an Egyptian horse carrier (note to self: does PETA know the JEWS were targetting innocent horses?)

However settled the matter may be, Arab media claims considerable "controversy" still exists over the matter:

"Israel intentionally tried to sink the Liberty, Bamford argued, to cover up the massacre of Egyptian prisoners of war in the Sinai. President Johnson’s administration then hid the facts to avoid harming ties with Israel."

Er, whaaa? So let me get this straight.....Israel sunk a Navy ship on purpose so we wouldn't find out they had massacred Egyptian POW's....and this makes sense because??????

But wait, it gets better:

"A young man wearing a yarmulke was heard to comment, “I can’t believe people are still so upset after all these years!”

A Jew!!! I knew it!! When is the State Department going to admit that our staunchest ally in the region intentionally provoked a war with us in order to stop us from sending them more arms and money. I smell cover-up.

UPDATE: Who is James Bamford??

About 30 seconds of digging revealed who this "Bamford" was that accuses the US of covering up the Zionist attrocities. Would it surprise anyone that that in an ABC News report Bamford "revealed" that the US Military had plans to "to trick the American public and the international community into supporting a war to oust Cuba's then new leader, communist Fidel Castro."

How do we trick the good folks in flyover country?
"....the plans reportedly included the possible assassination of Cuban émigrés, sinking boats of Cuban refugees on the high seas, hijacking planes, blowing up a U.S. ship, and even orchestrating violent terrorism in U.S. cities...."

Bamford even claims that:
"America's top military brass even contemplated causing U.S. military casualties(emphasis mine), writing: 'We could blow up a U.S. ship in Guantanamo Bay and blame Cuba," and, "casualty lists in U.S. newspapers would cause a helpful wave of national indignation.'"

It just gets better and better:
"The Joint Chiefs even proposed using the potential death of astronaut John Glenn during the first attempt to put an American into orbit as a false pretext for war with Cuba"

I'm surprised the Joint Chiefs didn't plan to go after Mickey Mantle too!

Ok, I *might* buy that there were "plans" that some dude in CIA cooked up, but Bamford claims the Joint Chiefs actually wanted to go through with it but that Kennedy overruled them....this is getting into tin foil hat country.

(note to self: restock tin foil supply)

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Jawas explained (a brief guide)

Ok, so I've been doing some thinking....not a lot, just some. It seems we can now safely divide our enemies into two camps.

First, you got the jawas. See, these guys don't really like us but don't mind making a buck selling us an R2 unit or oil or whatever. It doesn't matter to them if your part of the Imperial powers that be or a member of the Empire hating Rebel Alliance, as far as they are concerned you are just another colonist that a buck can be made from. You see, according to their custom they own Tatooine and everyone else should be subjected to them. It really makes no sense to them how we, an uncultured and unsophisticad lot, could control so much of the planet as it rightfully belongs to their ancient culture. They despise being a second rate power when they were the most advanced civillization for so long. They hate you but tolerate you. The only thing they hate more than you are the "settlers" that ventured out into the desert. In public, they openly rail against these settlers and say they wouldn't mind the rest of the colonists if we would just withdraw our support for this small minority. This would placate some of them, for sure, but they would just find another excuse to resent us. For the most part, the jawas can be dealt with. They live their semi-nomadic life and simply want to be left alone. But don't misunderstand them, while they wouldn't personally kill you, when a Tusken Raider takes the life of an Imperial Stormptrooper or even an innocent colonist, they secretly (and sometimes openly) celebrate. Jawa political society varies from clan to clan, with some tribes even outwardly adopting many of the customs of the colonists they so despise. However, in all cases leaders rule with an iron fist.

Second, you got your Tusken Raiders. These guys are a lot like the jawas, but are bigger and meaner. Like the jawas, they too claim that Tattooine belongs to them. In fact, they are a sub-species of the jawas but they claim to be the only "true" followers of the ancient ways. The more radical among them have declared open season on the jawa leadership who they believe have lost their way. Even the most traditional of jawa clans are sellouts, in their view, since they openly trade with the colonists. Unlike the jawas, they do not think that peaceful coexistence with the colonists is possible. The believe that both the Imperials and the Rebels are basically controlled by the small group of desert settlers. Both the Emperor himself and the President of the Rebel Council are really puppets for this small group that had the audacity to wander out of the cities and into the unfertile desert. While they share with the jawas a contempt for all things human, they take their anger one step further: they beleive colonists should be killed until the day that Tusken society dominates Tattooine. In order to further that goal, they train their young to kill colonists at every opportunity. Tusken society should be respectfully feared but are not a long term threat to the Empire's grasp on this quadrant. While the Tuskens beleive their raids have severely weakend the Empire's grip on Tattooine, the truth is that the damage done by them is rarely significant. In recent years the Tusken's have taken to hijacking women, taking captives as slaves, and have occasionally hijacked an Imperial transport cruiser or two. Unlike the jawas that can be tolerated, Tusken Raiders should be killed at every opportunity. Our restraint only emboldens them as it makes us look weak. Often they hide among the jawas. They know we are reluctant to shoot innocent jawas and they know that jawas rarely will turn them over to the Empire. In some places (for example here, and here) they have rested control from the jawa leadership and have imposed a harshly traditional way of life. In fact, many jawas now openly oppose Tusken rule and might be valuable allies of convenience.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

From Arab News:

"In the same way that Jews were horribly persecuted down the centuries by the ignorant and the bigoted as being Christ killers, it appears a similar type of ignoramus has emerged with regard to Muslims and Sept.11. The intellectually challenged, the apathetic and the gung-ho are being slowly indoctrinated to formulate such a linkage in their own minds. Let’s face it. Without this fabricated slur on Muslims, the Bush administration’s surges into Afghanistan and Iraq would have come up against massive public opposition."

Consider this website the intellectually challenged doing their part. Tusken Raiders beware!!
From the I can't believe its not a joke department:

Supermarket Chain Sells Sacrificial Sheep

"Religious authorities monitor transport and delivery to ensure that the animals arrive in good condition and that the buyer actually gets the sheep he paid for. If the buyer is unsatisfied with any part of the procedure, the supermarket does not argue about refunds. “The sacrifice and donation of an animal is a sensitive and significant religious act; we respect its seriousness to the buyer who is also a donor,” said Hootsen. “Because the animal has been tagged, it can be identified as the gift of a particular buyer whose name is called out at the moment of sacrifice.”

The animal is butchered with a portion returning to the supermarket — with the tag — for the customer to collect. The remainder becomes a donation to charity."

Doesn't that take all the fun out of it??
Anti-Americans I'd like to meet

Friday, January 23, 2004

'Jewification' [of Palestine]

You'd expect this from the RoP, but the Druze too? Talk about your Dhimmi mentality. MEMRI reports:

".... the fall of one Jew, whether soldier or civilian, is a great accomplishment" says Walid Jumblatt, chairman of the (Druze) Socialist Progressive Party and member of the Lebanese parliament.

Speaking of Hamas Mother of the Year and human bomb, Reem Al-Riyashi, she justified the terrorist act by calling on all Arabs to remember that the intifada required "opposing the 'Jewification' [of Palestine]"

"Jewification"? Isn't that something that started once the ZOGs forced Seinfeld into eternal primetime syndication??

I have another word: JAWAFICATION. I'ts what the jihadists want the world to look like and its much scarier than Seinfeld ever was.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Is Powell a fool, or just a good liar?

"We have been talking not only to the Saudis but to other Middle Eastern leaders and Muslim leaders around the world, and made it clear to them that Islam is a great religion," says Powell (via jihadwatch) as he lectures Tatooine's indigenous population on the merits of adding things like math to the primary curriculum.

Great? Oh wait. I get it. "Great" as in Alexander the Great, meaning "remarkable in magnitude, degree, or effectiveness " (from merriam-webster). Ex: "The RoP is great at kidnapping 14 year old Christian girls and forcing them to marry Muslims to make good little Muslim babies."

Yeah. Great.

The Saudi's respond by denying "reports that it was under pressure from the United States and other Western countries to change its educational curriculum. He pointed out the Kingdom was revising the curriculum for the educational development of its people and that the decision was its own."

Right. It was your own idea. Right.
Pot calls kettle black

Maybe the 40 years spent in dar al Islam fried Nobuaki Notohara's brain. In his new book, reviewed here at MEMRI, he decides to give some constructive criticism to Arabs. He wants Arabs to learn from the progress Japan has made over the past 50 years. Great call. Let's hope he doesn't get a fatwah laid on his ass because he is pretty honest in his assessment of Arab repression. However, Mr. Notohara seems to have believed all the rubbish they taught him growing up (hey, teacher, leave them kids alone). Apparently, Ike should have replaced MaCarthur with someone who would have kept tighter control of what the Japs were teaching their poor gullible kids. Its not so much that his wish for a more free and less repressive Middle East is wrong, as is his total misunderstanding of the REASON Japan is now an open society. He seems to think the Japanese VOLUNTARY and INTERNALLY reformed their system.

For instance:

"The author is aware of the fact that Japan was in the past subject to oppression. But the Japanese freed themselves from it, and it became history."

--and if by "freed themselves" from it they mean "America forced us to become free" I agree.

But wait, there is more:

"The Japanese had to deal with the bitter and difficult experience of the Japanese military taking control of the emperor, the government, and the people and leading the country to war... But we recognized our mistake and decided to correct it. We expelled the military and decided to rebuild what was destroyed by the military oppression. We learned that oppression leads to destruction of national resources and the murder of innocents..."


Here is where he gets it dead on right:

"....his Arab friends have asked him: 'The U.S. destroyed you by dropping two nuclear bombs on your cities. Why don't you hate America?' He answers: 'We must admit our mistakes. We were imperialist and we conquered peoples and destroyed many lands - China, Korea, and Oceania. We must criticize ourselves and then correct our mistakes.."

-Amen brother. (Note to self: CC to entire Islamic world)

The real danger in this work is that it misinterprets history. History teaches us that we can impose our values on foreign culture. The question to me, really, is: To what extent is Islamic culture similar/different than German and Japanese culture? Is it similar enough to "get" what were forcing them to learn in Iraq? Or, is it too different that they will never acquiesce to our forceful reeducation? The answer to me is completely unclear.

Another, and perhaps more pressing question is: do we have the will to impose some of our values in Iraq? Here it is more clear: NO. Many of us are not convinced of the superiority of liberal values. Multiculturalism and relativism teach that its all the same, its really just a matter of preferences. If we don't beleive our values are better than why fight for them?

(Note to POTUS: Please take out all hostile media outlets in Iraq. Propoganda works.)

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Saudi 'new image' TV channel debuts

Apparently the Saudi's have had it up to here about our constant whining that they don't do enough:

"We want to tell the world about our country, to give a new image," he said. "The American media... put out things about Saudi Arabia that are not true - like that Saudi Arabia is not fighting fundamentalists."

Er, does anyone not see the oxymoron here?

But wait, it gets better. The new "Progressive" house of Saud now has girls on TV! Yes, real live girls!

What am I doing locked in my room? Just "watching" the news mom! That's right baby, just a little more chin...ooh, yeah.

Afghan court protests at women singers:

Yeah, but are they hot??

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Muhammed *peace be upon his name* says:

"And He drove down those of the followers of the Book [ie, Christians/Jews] who backed them from their fortresses and He cast awe into their hearts; some you killed and you took captive another part.

And He made you heirs to their [ie, Christians/Jews] land and their dwellings and their property, and (to) a land which you have not yet trodden, and Allah has power over all things." Sura 33:26-27

'Hey people it was only a tower and I swear by God that they [US] are the ones who pulled it down.' sings Egyptian pop-star Abd Al-Rahim.

Praise Allah and pass the ammunition.
Blog up, life down. So why did I start this blog? Because I felt like it, that's why. Screw you guys I'm going home.

No, really, the real reason I started this blog is because I found myself reading a whole bunch of garbage about the RoP and thought I'd at my .000097% of two cents into the cesspool that is cyberspace.

The question for me is this: How dangerous is the Islamist movement?

In my view the answer is: Very dangerous.

This is no small matter and I think it is one that divides the country. In some ways the division between Cold Warriors and the Dovish libs were largely differences of perception. IF communism was a REAL threat to the US, THEN the investigations into communist party members in the State Department were a good thing. However, IF communism was NOT a very large threat to the US, THEN we should let commies, or democrats, or whoever work in the State Department. Liberals did not really believe that communism was such a large threat while conservatives generally saw it as such (forget the left, to them communism was GOOD, or at least better than bourgois capitalism).

Today, we must ask ourselves if the Islamist movement threatens our nation, its interests, and the world. In my view the answer is YES, YES, YES. Islamists wish to replace friendly regimes with hostile ones. They wish to replace secular law with Sharia. They wish to take back lands once ruled by Islam (from Spain through India). In the long run they envision a world ruled by Islam. Yes, it is true that they would allow Christians and Jews to privately worship, but would ban conversions and religious free speech. Christians and Jews are to be ruled as second-class citizens. If that isn't bad enough, they also wish to vanquish Buddhism, Hinduism, and animism from the world--totally.

With that in mind, we need to dig deeper and ask, Q:What is the ideological source of those that wish to create the world-wide Caliphate? A: Islam.

Another way in wich our war against Islamists is similar to the Cold War is the way in which liberals and conservatives disagreed on the role of Marx. Many libs and lefties were always so eager to diss the Soviet Union but wished to somehow shield Marx from any culpability in Stalin's crimes. The kind of standard answer to any one blaming Marx was to say something like, "Well, Marx didn't want it to be this way." or "Marx never came up with a good plan for the transition from Socialism to Communism." Which of course is all well and true if not totally irrelevant because in Marx's writing we find the ideological justifications for the crimes of Stalin and Mao, Lenin and Castro. Think about it, if the capitalist class really was exploiting the proletariat than what is the big deal with killing those who are the oppressors? And what is the big deal if reactionary forces are sent to reeducation camps? Since Marxism is "science," those people who don't beleive in it are under false consciousness and ought to be reeducated. Right?

Many political scientists and historians look at Stalin's crimes as somehow seperate from Marxist ideology. For them, Stalin didn't really beleive in Marx but just used communism as a way to further his own personal ambitions. Have these people actually ever read Stalin's writings? Are they unaware of Stalin's devotion to Marx? In my view it is a lazy view of history that begins with an assumption of individual motives and never looks beyond that.

In our day, this intellectual laziness is even worse than during the Cold War. The intellectual elite wishes to blame certain extremists in Islam without blaming Islam itself. It is simply too difficult to beleive, for this crowd, that other human beings might actual perceive the world in a way that is totally inconceivable to Western sensibilities. To them, Stalin was just after power--it is inconceivable that Stalin might have done the things he did because he thought it was the RIGHT thing to do. To them it is similarly inconceivable that terrorists do the things they do because they think it is the RIGHT thing to do. Ok, some of them will admit that Islamic terrorists are religiously motivated, but that somehow that is not rooted in mainstream Islam. Have these people ever read the Koran? Do they know nothing of the example of Muhammed?

So far I have ellaborated two assumptions that go into writing this trifle of a blog:
A) The war against Islamists threatens the short-term security of the US and the long term survivability of Western culture.
B) The root cause of Islamism is Islam. Not poverty. Not oppression. Not Zionism. Islam.

Last, and really the gist of this blog is this:
C) In a real war, against real enemies, we need some good old fashioned, sweet down-home, funny, bigotted propoganda. Tell me, what would the "greatest generation" think of liberal wusses cringing at words like "kraut" and "nip"? Remember all those great bugs-bunny cartoons demonizing the Nazis? "Nazis is zee craziest people!" Rip-roaring fun with a message: the enemy is real and we are better than they.

So, poke fun at Islam. Make fun of Muhammed. Paint our enemies in the worst light possible. Tell jokes about them. Create art that ridicules them. Sing songs not suitable for prime-time. Offend people that need offending.

We will have no WILL to fight if we do not beleive that are cause is right and no STOMACH for the horrors of war if we do not beleive that our enemies are real.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Q: Why do we fight (props to Bill Bennet)? Good question, but a better question is: why do THEY fight?

A: Because Allah commands them to:

"And fight in the way of Allah with those who fight with you, and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits.

And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from whence they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter, and do not fight with them at the Sacred Mosque until they fight with you in it, but if they do fight you, then slay them; such is the recompense of the unbelievers.

But if they desist, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

And fight with them until there is no persecution, and religion should be only for Allah, but if they desist, then there should be no hostility except against the oppressors." (Sura 2: 190-193)

Its good to know that when they fight us they aren't supposed to 'exceed the limits' because I would hate for someone to, I dunno, kill women and children ON PURPOSE.

Also good to know that they aren't supposed to fight in mosques--I think POTUS must have read this but he didn't realize that this was a message to the followers of the RoP and not written for the 4th ID. But see, it doesn't say you can't hide weapons in mosques, you just aren't supposed to USE the weapons there (except when attacked).

I'm also glad to know they are to desist as soon as we have been driven out of the places we have driven them from--until you realize this means all of Spain (not good), some of France (no tears), Israel (nuff said), and here, here, here, and here (replace "here" with your favorite nation). Or as the leader of Hamas, Mahmoud Zahar, so eloquently puts it, "the march of resistance will continue until the Islamic flag is raised, not only on the minarets of Jerusalem, but over the whole universe." Amen, brother. Amen.
Today's lesson on the RoP--------

Muhammed *peace be upon his name* says:

"Fight those who do not believe in Allah, nor in the latter day, nor do they prohibit what Allah and His Apostle have prohibited, nor follow the religion of truth, out of those who have been given the Book, until they pay the tax in acknowledgment of superiority and they are in a state of subjection."
--Sura 9:29
Jawas? You know, sandpeople.
Still editing. This is a test.
If you think this is offensive, just wait til I really get going!